Spare Change

5 Oct

After all the misery that was the end of last weeks work week, I started to look around my apartment and wonder where exactly all my debt was sitting. I know a big chunk is sitting in my closet – with bows on their toes and leather straps with gold buckles – the non-negotiables – but realistically – where does my budget go?

It’s almost the end of the year and I am still staring at a huge portion of debt; $2500 to be exact. Well, ok, $2494.13 to really be exact. But the scary thing is that money is the credit hindering debt I wanted most to be gone once December got here. And I really am no closer on that portion. What’s worse is the list of things that I wanted to purchase but would only do so once the number was lower, much lower, is no where closer. The iPhone for my 27th birthday … didn’t happen. No camera. Certainly no Dyson (I know. Getting older makes you reevaluate things. Like a Dyson vs. Hoover. Seriously. Wackadoodle.) Some sort of vacation. Ahhhhh!

Even with all my curtailed spending and resistance of coupons and free $10 gift cards, I seem to be not as far ahead as I wanted by this time. And, as such, am no closer to getting the things I want in my life.

After reading each others posts and realizing I’m not the only one who looks to buy these finer things (And Adaena’s very solid query: Is asking for this camera (and a Vespa scooter and a weekend in Paris) really too much? What’s a girl to do?) I couldn’t help but wonder …

How did I get to this point?

I’ve fudged my budget more than I should.

With all the things I have bought – accruing debt or not – I have too much. I have 2 almost identical skirts and 2 almost identical jackets and around 10 almost identical summer dresses. (Need a summer dress with a blue geometric pattern?) With that being said … I think I have found a strong contributor to my debt: procrastination and laziness. If I actually bothered to keep track of and care for everything I had in the way I truly would like to, I might not be out and about so much and could better evaluate what I actually need. $30 is a great deal for a dress and $5.00 is even better, but they still add up!

Late last night I got that burst of energy that only comes between 2 and 5 in the morning and started to go through my apartment – A vein attempt at getting organized, which I now see is key to this whole thing continuing to work out. But I have kept so many things I don’t need simply because they’re not “worn out”. Jeans from college I never have a prayer of fitting into again (I will never be a 26 again. Nor do I want to be); Shirts that would be better off in someone else’s ragpile; skirts that I never looked good in, but didn’t get rid of for god knows why. All stuff. All things. All impeding me from really being totally happy.

It’s a weight on my shoulders to go home sometimes because my apartment can get away from me quickly. Full time job, 3 or 4 freelance works, a night or two out on the town and I’m spent. The last thing I want to do is vacuum and dust. Fold laundry. Do dishes. When in reality, if I did those things more frequently than I currently do, I might have seen better results toward my overall yearly goal.

I always say I’m an organized mess, but sometimes, I’m just a mess. I need to get organized. I found a desk at St. V d P a few weeks ago and at $15 it was a steal. It has drawers for organizing my bills, my doodles, my odds and ends. And it’s helping out in my living room immensely. I’m working on getting a table at which I can eat – bar height if you’re looking out for me – and I’ve noticed that it’s all helping.

With “keeping up with my apartment” in place, I’ve seen more effort on my part to not use the credit card at all (even though it racks up serious points for paying my cell and cable bills) and am working gradually at whittling down my closet. I don’t need all that I’ve got, so I’m going to start thinking of it as depriving others of my deal hunting prowess. Tomorrow morning all those college jeans go to St. V d P and I reclaim 3 shelves – it’s a big step, even though they’re small shelves.

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